Introduction
As your relationship progresses, it's natural for your sex life to fall into a routine. While familiarity breeds comfort, it can also lead to boredom over time. Don't worry - there are many ways to add excitement back into the bedroom, no matter how long you've been together.
With some creativity, open communication, and a willingness to experiment, you can enjoy new sexual experiences with your partner. In this article, you'll discover tips for setting the mood, trying new positions, exploring fantasies, and more. Approach this as an adventure to deepen intimacy and pleasure.
An exciting sex life takes some effort, but it's well worth it for your happiness and connection. With the right attitude and techniques, you can make monotony a thing of the past.
Simple Ways to Spice Up Your Sex Life
Focus on Foreplay
Take the time to engage in foreplay with your partner. Foreplay helps build anticipation and arousal, making the main event even more pleasurable. Try activities like massage, kissing, and manually stimulating each other. Don't rush into intercourse - allow plenty of time to explore each other's bodies.
Try New Positions
If you always have sex in the missionary position, it's time to shake things up. Experiment with different positions to find what you both enjoy. Positions like doggy style, cowgirl, and spooning can increase sensation and allow for deeper penetration. Get an illustrated sex position book or app for inspiration.
Use Toys
Incorporating sex toys into your intimate moments is an easy way to add excitement. Vibrators, dildos, and couples toys can enhance arousal and intensify orgasms for both partners.
Shop online at a reputable retailer like My Ruby Lips to browse high-quality toys in the privacy of your own home. Start with something simple like a bullet vibrator and build up to more advanced toys as your comfort level increases.
Role Play
Pretending to be different characters or acting out various scenarios is a fun way to spice up your sex life. You can discuss role-play ideas with your partner and choose one you're both comfortable with, like teacher/student, boss/secretary, or stranger.
Dress up in costumes to help you get into character. Role-playing allows you to act out your fantasies in a safe environment with someone you trust.
With an open mind and a sense of adventure, you can rekindle the passion in your relationship. Focus on intimacy, communicate your desires, and don't be afraid to try new things. A fulfilling sex life is worth the effort.
Games and Roleplay to Add Excitement to the Bedroom
Roleplaying different scenarios and characters is a fun way to spice up your sex life. Acting out fantasies together helps you step outside of your everyday roles as partners, allowing you to explore new sides of your sexuality. ###Costumes and Props
Investing in costumes and props to match your roleplay theme helps set the mood. For example, pretend to be strangers meeting in a bar by dressing up in flashy evening attire.
Or, act out a classic student-teacher fantasy using a ruler and eyeglasses as props. Costumes and props bring an immersive element to your roleplay.
Set the Scene
Choose a scenario to act out together, like boss and secretary, cop and robber, or maid and house owner. Discuss your roles, including any backstory, to ensure you're both comfortable.
Setting ground rules ahead of time, such as not getting carried away with physical restraints, also helps ensure you both feel at ease. Once the scene is set, slip into character and enjoy flirting and seducing each other!
Build Anticipation
Engage in your usual foreplay to build arousal and anticipation before beginning your roleplay scenario. Starting when you're already turned on helps ensure you'll both be receptive to stepping into new roles.
Send flirty texts in character or describe what you'll do in your role to tease your partner throughout the day in preparation for an exciting evening of fantasy fulfillment.
Exploring roleplay and fantasy in a mutually enjoyable way can lead to mind-blowing sexual experiences and a deeper connection with your partner. Have fun with it!
Laugh, break character, and switch roles as needed to ensure you both feel comfortable as you embark on this adventure together.
New Positions and Techniques to Try
To reignite the spark in your relationship, experimenting with new sexual positions and techniques is highly recommended. Trying different positions allows you to experience new angles and sensations and discover each other's bodies in various ways.
Reverse Cowgirl
This position puts the woman in control, allowing her to control the speed, depth, and angle of penetration. Have the man lie down on his back to get into this position.
The woman then straddles the man facing away from him and lowers herself onto his penis. She can then ride up and down, controlling the pace. This position also leaves the man's hands-free to caress the woman's body.
Spooning
This intimate position is perfect for lazy mornings or when you want to connect emotionally. To get into the spooning position, both partners lie on their sides, with the man behind the woman.
The man then enters the woman from behind. This position allows for slow, sensual sex while allowing both partners to maintain eye contact, kiss, and caress each other.
To enhance your experience, you can introduce sex toys, role play, or tantric sex techniques like breath control or prolonged foreplay.
Exploring each other's erogenous zones through sensual massages with scented oils is another way to boost intimacy and pleasure. Watching adult videos together may inspire you to try new positions or techniques, as you can see them performed on screen.
Keeping an open mind and willingness to experiment will allow you to discover new heights of passion and connection in your relationship. While trying new things may feel awkward at first, start slow and have fun with it.
Laugh with your partner, and don't take yourself too seriously. With practice and patience, you'll be enhancing your sex life in no time.
Adult Toys and Props to Heat Things Up
Vibrators and Massagers
Vibrators and massagers are incredibly versatile and can be used by both partners during foreplay or intercourse to stimulate erogenous zones and increase arousal.
Small bullet vibrators are ideal for pinpoint stimulation and can be used on nipples, clitorises, penises and perineums. Wand massagers are suitable for relaxing tight muscles and stimulating large areas. Using a vibrator on your partner during manual or oral stimulation will drive them wild.
Restraints
Restraints such as handcuffs, ties, and spreader bars allow one partner to relinquish control to the other. Being restrained during sex can heighten sensations and increase arousal due to sensory deprivation and the thrill of giving up control.
Please always be sure to establish a safe word in case restraints become too uncomfortable. Restraints should never be too tight, and circulation should always be monitored.
Lubricants and Oils
While lubricants are essential for comfortable penetration, flavored and scented lubricants can also make oral sex more enjoyable and sensual.
Lubricants that create warming, tingling, or cooling sensations can also increase arousal for both partners. Massage oils are ideal for sensual foreplay and full-body massages. Edible massage oils and lubricants are safe for oral consumption and intimate areas.
Role Play Costumes
Dressing up in fantasy costumes is a fun way to add excitement to your sex life. Popular role-play costumes include nurse, maid, teacher, and student outfits.
Costumes allow you to assume a different persona and act out various fantasies. Discuss costumes and roles that you both find arousing before purchasing. Always start slowly and avoid costumes or roles that make either partner uncomfortable.
Experiment with different toys, props, and scenarios to keep things exciting in the bedroom. Start with one new addition at a time, discuss what you both enjoy and build up from there. An active and adventurous sex life often translates to a happy and healthy relationship.
Creating the Right Ambiance for Romance
Set the mood with lighting.
Dim lighting is ideal for creating an intimate ambiance. Softly illuminated spaces make people feel more relaxed and in the mood for romance. Turn off harsh overhead lights and use table and floor lamps with warm, low-wattage bulbs instead. You can also light candles around the room for a soft glow and pleasant aroma.
Choose sensual music
Put some smooth jazz, blues, or classical music at a low volume. Slow instrumentals or vocals with fewer lyrics are less distracting. Music is a great way to relax your mind and transport you to a romantic headspace.
Use fragrance to delight the senses.
Fresh flowers, potpourri, scented candles, or essential oil diffusers can fill the space with a pleasant fragrance that inspires warmth and pleasure. Floral and woodsy scents tend to be particularly sensual.
You might also try massage oils with arousing essential oils like sandalwood, rose, jasmine, or patchouli.
Keep the temperature comfortable.
A room that's too hot or cold can be distracting and reduce pleasure. Adjust the thermostat to a cozy temperature, usually between 65 and 72°F. Having extra blankets on hand is also a good idea if you want to stay warm while undressed.
Creating an alluring ambiance through lighting, music, scent, and temperature will help transport you and your partner to a private world of intimacy and romance.
Be playful in trying different combinations to discover what you both find most sensual and arousing. The ambiance you create together will become a crucial part of your sexual experience and bring you closer through the senses.
Communication Is Key - Discuss Your Desires
Share Your Thoughts and Feelings
Tell your partner what turns you explicitly on and what you find most pleasurable. Be open about any activities you’re curious to try. Discuss how often you would ideally like to be intimate and any barriers preventing that.
Your partner may have similar desires that they have yet to share. Creating space for this vulnerable conversation is the first step to enhancing your connection.
Listen Without Judgement
When your partner shares their interests and desires, listen with an open and non-judgemental mind. Do not make negative comments or react in a way that could cause them to feel embarrassed or ashamed.
Respond with empathy, care, and understanding. Ask follow-up questions to make sure you comprehend what they are communicating. Your accepting and supportive reaction will make them feel comfortable opening up further.
Compromise and Take Things Slowly
Refrain from immediately engaging in any new activities that you discuss. Review the conversation and determine what you both feel comfortable trying.
You can start slowly by incorporating small changes into your routine and build up based on mutual enthusiasm and consent. Discussing desires can become a natural part of your intimacy with patience and practice.
Open communication about sex requires vulnerability, but it leads to deeper trust and physical connection with your partner.
You can try to start these conversations, listen without judgment, find a compromise, and take things at a pace you are both comfortable with. Discussing desires and discovering new pleasures can help reignite passion and strengthen your bond.
Scheduling Intimate Time Together
Get Creative With Your Calendar
Rather than letting your schedule dictate when you have time for sex, get creative with your calendar. Block off time each week that is explicitly dedicated to intimacy. This could be a few hours one evening or an entire day on the weekend.
Protect this time like you would any other necessary appointment or event. Turn off electronics, clear your schedule of chores and errands, and focus solely on each other.
Try New Activities Together
Use your intimate time together to experiment with new sexual activities that you and your partner want to try. This could be new positions, role-playing different fantasies, watching erotic films together, or using sex toys to enhance pleasure.
Stepping outside your routine and comfort zone can stimulate the release of dopamine in the brain, which increases arousal and fuels passion. To build excitement, please talk about your interests and desires openly and without judgment.
Rekindle Romance Outside the Bedroom
While scheduled sex time is essential, it is equally crucial to maintain an ongoing sense of romance and affection outside the bedroom. Flirt with your partner, hold hands, give random hugs and quick kisses, compliment them, and say "I love you" often.
Engage in regular, non-sexual touching like giving massages, brushing hair, and caressing. Making physical intimacy a consistent part of your daily interaction will keep the spark alive in and out of the bedroom.
With open communication, creativity, and commitment to intimacy, scheduling quality time with your partner can significantly enhance your sexual connection and overall relationship satisfaction.
Protecting your sex life from the demands of everyday responsibilities and making pleasure a priority will help ensure a lifetime of passion.
Keeping Things Fresh With Variety and Spontaneity
To spice up your sex life, incorporating variety and spontaneity is key. Repeatedly doing the same routine or sequence of acts can become mundane and dull over time. You should make an effort to try new positions, locations, and activities to stimulate your senses and reignite your passion.
One way to add variety is to experiment with different positions. Rather than constantly engaging in traditional missionary positions or doggy style, explore new options like a woman on top, spooning, or standing positions.
Switching positions provides different angles, depths of penetration, and sensations for both partners. You might find a new favorite position through experimentation.
You should also consider varying locations and environments. Intimacy can occur in places other than the bedroom, like the living room, kitchen, shower, or outdoors. Different rooms or settings can make encounters feel novel and exciting. Be adventurous, but exercise caution depending on location.
Trying new activities in the bedroom, such as role-playing, watching adult films together, using sex toys, tantric sex, or lightly restraining your partner, can introduce variety.
Please discuss any new activities beforehand and start slowly to gauge comfort levels. Always exercise safety, obtain consent, and stop immediately if uncomfortable.
The key to spontaneity is unscripted encounters. Initiate physical intimacy at unexpected times when the mood strikes, like in the morning before work or the middle of the day. Send flirty texts or images to build anticipation for a surprise liaison later.
Spontaneous quickies or encounters can be thrilling and passionate.
Incorporating variety, new activities, and an element of surprise into your sex life will help overcome boredom or a sense of routine.
A healthy sex life requires effort and open communication with your partner about needs, desires, limits, and comfort levels. With a willingness to experiment and be spontaneous at times, you can reignite the spark in your relationship.
FAQs: How to Spice Up Sex in a Long-Term Relationship
To maintain excitement in the bedroom with your long-term partner, it is essential to keep things fresh and try new activities together. Here are some frequently asked questions about how to spice up your sex life:
What are some ways to spice up foreplay? Foreplay is essential for arousal and enhancing intimacy with your partner. Try sensual massage with scented oil, kissing each other slowly, engaging in role-play or fantasy scenarios, watching an erotic movie together, or using a vibrator.
Building anticipation will make the main event even more pleasurable for you both.
How can we add variety to our usual sexual positions? If you typically engage in the same 1 or 2 positions, changing it up can make sex feel new again. Some options to try include:
- Woman on top, facing forward or backward
- Sideways spooning position
- Standing against a wall
- On a table or countertop
- From behind while bent over
- On a chair or couch
Experimenting with new locations beyond the bedroom can also increase excitement.
What sex toys do you recommend for couples? For couples looking to enhance their intimacy, we recommend starting with:
- A small bullet vibrator to use during foreplay or intercourse
- A massage oil candle that melts into a warm massage oil
- A vibrating cock ring to provide clitoral stimulation during sex
- Restraints like silk ties or cuffs to experiment with power play
- A sex game with prompts and suggestions to break the routine.
Trying new toys together allows you to explore each other's desires playfully. Start with one toy and build up your collection as your comfort level increases.
Keeping the spark alive in a long-term relationship requires effort from both partners. With open communication, creativity, and a willingness to try new things together, you can overcome boredom in the bedroom and reconnect through exciting shared experiences.
Conclusion
While spicing up your sex life takes effort, the rewards can be immense. A satisfying intimate relationship requires open communication, trust, and willingness to experiment.
Approach new ideas with enthusiasm. Focus on pleasure rather than performance. Laugh together at what doesn't work. Most importantly, know that a healthy sex life stems from a deep emotional connection. Don't expect fireworks every time, but do expect moments of profound joy.
Your relationship's intimacy directly impacts your overall happiness. Make it a priority to keep your sex life fresh and exciting. The effort pays dividends in increased closeness, confidence, and lifelong passion.
